It's hard to imagine that this is where it all started. Actually, this is nowhere near where it all started... it started about 7 years before that. And several cycles previously, with losses with and then hopes resurrected...I always knew it was going to happen... it was just getting harder to see HOW.

Who could know that these two tiny organisms, not visible to the human eye, these two clusters of EIGHT CELLS would be the two newest loves of my life, that would fill my heart with so much joy and heal so much that is wrong with the world...?  All the efforts to get us here... the hypnosis shows, the comedy shows, the prayers, the "putting it out there", the deals one makes with God, all of it a blur...now that my two little loves are here.

I had an idea of how I wanted to feel... like all the other mothers. I used to say to my unborn children, "Don't worry, Mommy's coming..." when they were just an idea, just a hope I was keeping alive in my heart... but I didn't know how I would feel... will they like me? Will I bond with them? Will I be able to do it? ("Yes." "Yes." and "not without help!Thank God for my mother.")

I can't believe that these two 8 celled embryos are the tiny people whose heads I kiss, whose little feet I marvel at, whose soft skin I nuzzle as I cuddle them both.  My little family. I can't wait for first smiles, Halloween costumes, discovering life with them as they see it, and letting them teach me how to be their mother.